Against The Stream ~ FORGIVE YOURSELF
WE LABOR AND STAGGER
ALONG under the burdens of our sins and mistakes,
not knowing how to put them down. We’ve all
made mistakes, done things we shouldn’t have
done, and not done things we should have done. Because
of this, regret and remorse follow us like shadows,
from the past, to, and through, the present. Although
we should feel remorse for our mistakes, life must
go on, we must continue on our way, for we cannot
live in the past, and attempts to do so only tear
us apart. How can we put down the burdens of the past
and go forward with lighter hearts?
Many people believe that sin must be forgiven
by a ‘God-who-made-everything’; others
believe we must be saved by some ‘superman’,
otherwise we will go to Hell forever. Others see these
things, these beliefs, as psychological techniques,
from which we may gain the strength to bear our responsibilities,
accept the consequences of our deeds, and go on living.
They are valid as long as they remain techniques,
for without them, many would find life too hard to
bear, and there would be a much-higher suicide-rate
than there is. But when a technique isn’t understood
as such, and becomes an article of belief, an indispensable
dogma, it is a fetter, instead of a means of support.
This is why new techniques must constantly be devised,
before the old ones become rigid and lifeless.
It seems quite clear that the practice of
Confession in Catholicism was adopted, in the early
Christian era, from Buddhism, along with other things;
however, it became a dogma in Catholicism, and very
few people understand the real meaning. Most Catholics
believe that when they confess their sins before the
priest, who admonishes them and perhaps allots some
penance to perform, that that is the end of it, and
they may start again with a clean slate. Protestants—
who also do not understand clearly about Confession—
ridicule Catholics for this; in fact, one of the things
that caused Martin Luther— one of the main founders
of the Protestant branch of Christianity— to
break with the Church of Rome, was the priestly practice
of selling certificates-of-forgiveness, known as ‘Indulgences’.
Perhaps he was not against the certificates as such,
but against the lucrative business they constituted;
the rich could afford to have their sins ‘absolved’
in this way, while the poor could not. The priests
claimed that, as the ‘representatives of God’,
they had the power and right to forgive sins—
for a price, of course.
How can we buy off the effects of our sins?
No amount of money can do this. But to confess our
sins and mistakes to another person is the first step
of coming to grips with them, so that eventually,
by doing as little evil, and as much good as possible,
we may overcome them.
Buddhism teaches that we are punished by
our sins, not for them, as do other religions; if
we sow the seeds, and if they germinate and grow,
we get the results, not someone else. Buddhists don’t
believe there is a ‘God’ or anyone or
anything else to reward or punish us; when we are
free of such beliefs we can do something about our
own lives, and be more in control of the way we live.
Therefore, to whom, or to what, do Buddhists
pray? Certainly, we pray to no ‘God’,
and neither should we pray to the Buddha, as He never
asked people to do that, and in fact, warned against
it, telling people to follow the Dharma instead, and
thereby find their own enlightenment. The Buddha never
claimed to be a savior of any kind; it is the Dharma,
the Truth, which saves and liberates us, not the Buddha,
or anyone else. When we understand this, we immediately
avoid the trap of personalizing things, which is a
trap that catches many of us.
But many people do pray to the Buddha, do
they not? Yes, it appears they do. But, though this
might not be correct, and might impede progress on
the Way, it is not necessarily bad. You see, many
people have no-one in whom they can confide and tell
their troubles to. Very few people have what is known,
in Buddhist terminology, as a ‘good friend’
(kalyana mitta, in Pali language), someone who will
listen sympathetically without condemning, who will
help and give constructive advice or criticism when
necessary. Without such friends, they keep their feelings
and problems bottled up inside, afraid, unable, or
unwilling to express them to anyone. Like this, their
problems go around and around inside them, causing
so much tension and misery, and often growing bigger
and stronger, until, somehow, they find ways of ‘getting
out’.
Often, if we cannot release or express our
problems ourselves, they accumulate and increase in
strength until, suddenly and uncontrollably, they
burst out like a volcano exploding, and can be very
destructive. We need to find ways to release our problems
so that their potential for causing damage is minimized.
Therefore, although it is not really correct to pray
to the Buddha in a symbol, such as a picture or an
image, it can act as a way of releasing the tensions
of accumulated worries and problems. In this way,
as a technique, it can be good. We should not worry
about others criticizing us or accusing us of ‘worshipping
idols’, because most of them are guilty of doing
that which they accuse us of; Christians pray to ‘God’,
which is just their own mental creation or projection,
for although they claim that "God created Man
in his own image", it is actually the other way
around: Man created God in his own image, due to his
hopes, fears, and wishful thinking!
In some cases, however, we must admit that
this accusation is justified: some Buddhists do worship
the images and talk to them as superior beings, and
pray to and beseech them for help and favors, etc.
But if people understood what the Buddha taught, they
would not worship the images; the images and icons
are merely symbols on which to focus our attention,
to help raise our consciousness to higher levels.
No-one knows what the Buddha looked like.
The books say that His body had a number of special
marks on it, but I suspect that these marks were visible
only to people who had developed certain psychic powers
such as clairvoyance— that is, the ability to
see things that people without such powers are unable
to see, like ghosts. In the scriptures, there are
cases of people meeting the Buddha and not recognizing
Him. Surely, if His special marks— such as the
protuberance on the crown of his head, His long ears,
and the halo around His head— had been visible
to everyone, He would have been widely known by reputation
of these things, and anyone meeting Him would have
recognized Him immediately!
In 326 BCE— more than 200 years after
the Buddha passed away— Alexander the Great
led his armies down through the mountain-passes of
what is now Afghanistan to the plains of India. Undefeated
until then, he was halted at the River Beas by the
forces of Emperor Chandragupta— Ashoka’s
grandfather— and could go no further. Alexander
died in Persia on his way back to Greece, but some
of his troops remained and settled in N.W. India,
and established kingdoms there. Being philosophically
and artistically inclined, the Greeks were very impressed
with the teachings of the Buddha that they encountered
in India, and embracing them, were the first to carve
images of Him, in the likeness of their Sun-god, Apollo,
who represented Light and Reason. Many of these graceful
early images remain till now, housed in various museums.
There are many styles of Buddha-images:
Indian images, Chinese images, Tibetan images, etc.;
we can even see painted Buddha-images with blue eyes
and brown hair now, looking like Anglo-Saxons! But
it doesn’t matter; we should understand the
purpose of the images.
Everyone knows the images (it is incorrect
to call them statues, as we do not know what the Buddha
looked like, and we can make a statue of someone only
if we know how he looked) began in someone’s
mind— like everything else that people have
made. Everyone knows an image of the Buddha is not
the Buddha; everyone knows the Buddha-image will not
reach down and eat the fruit before it. Offerings
are made before the image out of respect to the memory
of the Buddha, as our Teacher; as such, the offerings
benefit those who make them, if they make them with
pure minds. It is similar to the way Christians place
flowers on the graves of their relatives or friends.
Why do they do so? To show love and respect to the
memory of the departed, and nothing more; they are
not worshipping the graves!
Have you ever seen a Buddha-image with a
sad face or an expression of suffering? Maybe, but
not if the image was properly and well made. Many
people, out of faith and devotion, like to make Buddha-images,
but lacking skill, often produce monstrosities, which
remain, for a long time, to cause embarrassment. If
we cannot make something beautiful, we should not
make something ugly; to make an ugly Buddha-image
is an insult, not an act of respect, and only provides
some people with an opportunity for mirth; an ill-made
or ugly Buddha-image (and there are great numbers
of such) only defeats the purpose of the image, which
is to inspire people by its expression of peace and
unshakability, to evoke a sense of that which lies
beyond the smile on its face: Enlightenment, Wisdom,
Compassion.
Sit quietly and gaze for a while on the
peaceful countenance of a well-made Buddha-image (if
you are fortunate enough to find one among all the
ill-made ones). Let your mind become free of desires—
temporarily free, at least. Perhaps you will find
a sense of calm creeping up on you, and a Buddha-like
smile breaking like a gentle wave across your face;
it begins deep in the heart, when you are not looking
or striving for anything.
The Buddha-image is only a means, and not
an end. Certainly, we should not be so attached to
an image that it becomes an obstacle, and we should
never bow before an image in fear or hope of reward.
When we bow, we do so out of respect— loving
respect, not fearful respect— and gratitude
to someone who showed us such a good Way to live by
in this confused and confusing world. Many people
have tried to indicate Truth, but no-one has shown
the Way so clearly as the Buddha did; moreover, He
did it without calling people to believe or follow
Him, but encouraged them to investigate things for
themselves in order to find the same state of enlightenment
that He had found.
The purpose of the Buddha-image, then, is
to reflect our true face as in a mirror, to evoke
Buddha-like qualities in us, so that we may find the
Buddha within, and not outside in a stone.
If we are going to talk about ‘idol-worship’,
we must look nearer than mere images or pictures.
The most popular and powerful ‘idol’ that
people of all times and places have worshipped—
and from which all the other idols, images and statues
have come— is, of course, their self, and everything
is used in this worship, including religion! By thinking
and saying that their religion is the only true religion,
and that all other religions are false— as so
many people do think and say— shows that their
own tiny self is at the center of their religion,
like a spider at the center of its web, manipulating
things for its own ends. Their religion thus becomes
an extension of their ego— is ego— and
strengthens it instead of weakening it. Is that the
purpose of religion?
If you examine your religion, to see who,
or what, is at the center, perhaps you will find yourself
enthroned there, in which case you are an idol-worshipper,
and your self is the idol!
However, while praying to the Buddha as
a technique for releasing tension is far from being
bad, we must beware, and not let it become a habit
that we get addicted to. It should be resorted to
only under conditions of stress, just as a man with
a broken leg would use a crutch to help him walk.
As far as possible, we should develop self-reliance,
understanding that, somehow, whatever we experience,
is a result of causes, and should therefore be accepted
for what it is— accepted, examined and assessed
to see what can be made of it, and where we can go
from there.
If you pray to the Buddha-image, expressing
your problems and asking for help, the image will
just sit there, with the eternal smile on its face,
saying not a word, moving not a muscle. If you ask
for a winning-number for a lottery or help with a
job-interview, the Buddha-image will not bend forwards
and whisper: "Buy this number ….";
it won’t say: "Don’t worry; I’ll
fix it for you". The answer to your prayers—
if there is an answer— must come from yourself,
and this depends upon how you release and unburden
yourself and express your problems. Very often, while
expressing our problems, we find the answers for ourselves,
hand-in-hand with the problem. That is why many teachers
— of many subjects— learn from themselves
as they teach; the effort to express and clarify themselves
to others brings about further understanding for the
teachers, so that they might sometimes catch themselves
in mid-sentence and think: "What am I saying?
I’ve said this same thing so many times before,
but I never understood it like this until now!"
Therefore, to pray to the Buddha, to talk
to the image— if you have no-one in whom you
can confide— can be therapeutic and good. However,
remember: the image is only wood or stone, and the
Buddha is not a savior or an information-bureau, but
a teacher who gave practical advice for living. You
should, therefore, learn about His teachings and try
to apply them in your life, so that many problems
may be avoided altogether, and the remainder may be
approached with wisdom instead of with fear.
To build up a good reputation is not easy,
and takes a long time, but to lose it can happen very
quickly. Likewise, while it is difficult to undo the
effects of a bad deed, those of a good deed can be
undone in a moment.
Many of us go through life arguing and disagreeing,
and never attempting to resolve the arguments. If
we cannot completely avoid arguments and conflicts,
we should try to resolve them as soon as possible,
so that they don’t harden and set like concrete;
while concrete is still wet, we may do something to
change it, but once it hardens, it is difficult to
do so. Jesus of Nazareth advised people to make peace
with their adversaries while they are still in touch
with them and have the opportunity to do so, in case
the adversary makes a charge against them and brings
them to court. Because of stubbornness and clinging,
many foolish cases are brought to court that could
have— and should have— been easily settled
between the contending parties themselves; but because
of pride and stupidity neither party is willing to
recognize its mistakes. Sometimes, people harbor grudges
for years, unwilling to forgive and forget, thereby
burning themselves up. It requires a lot of energy
to maintain a conflict and hate; is it worth it to
destroy oneself? As the Buddha said: " ‘He
abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me’;
in those who harbor such thoughts, hatred is never
appeased. ‘He abused me, he beat me, he defeated
me, he robbed me’; in those who harbor not such
thoughts, hatred is appeased". Is it not better
to let things go, considering that people hurt each
other through ignorance and not because they are really
bad? Buddhists, especially, should know this, as we
are taught that everyone has Buddha-nature, and can
become enlightened. With Loving-kindness, we can overcome
enmity towards others, rid ourselves of the poison
of hate, and draw nearer to Enlightenment.
Venerable Narada, in his famous book: The
Buddha and His Teachings, records that the Buddha,
when discoursing on generosity, told Anathapindika
(a wealthy lay-supporter, the one who presented the
Jetavana monastery to Him), that alms given to the
Order of Monks, together with the Buddha, is very
meritorious; but more meritorious than such alms is
the building of a monastery for the use of the Order;
more meritorious than building such monasteries is
Taking Refuge in the Three Jewels; more meritorious
than Taking Refuge in the Three Jewels is the observance
of the Five Precepts; more meritorious than such observance
is meditation on Loving-Kindness; and most meritorious
of all is the development of insight into the fleeting
nature of things.
Ven. Narada goes on to say: "It is
evident from this discourse that generosity is the
first stage of the Buddhist way-of-life. More important
than generosity is the observance of at least the
Five Rules of regulated behavior that tend to the
disciplining of words and deeds. Still more important
and beneficial is the cultivation of such ennobling
virtues as Loving-Kindness that leads to self-development.
Most important and most beneficial of all self-discipline
is the sincere effort to understand things as they
truly are".
To conclude here: Overcoming our sins and
shortcomings begins with recognizing and accepting
them, and giving them up; sincere repentance brings
relief.
Forgive yourself ….
and go on!
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