Boleh Tahan ~ INJECTION
WHEN I WAS A SMALL
BOY, my mother took me to the family doctor for a
vaccination of some sort or other, and held me in
her arms with my pants down. When the doctor came
towards me with the syringe, however, I lashed out
and punched him in the face! Needless to say, he wasn’t
very happy about this, but neither was I about having
a needle stuck in my butt! At that tender age, I didn’t
realize that it was for my own good!
It often happens that our fear of, and efforts
to avoid pain only increase it. This is not to say
we should masochistically enjoy it or even go looking
for it, but to realize that Life involves pain. We
can lessen it, but can never completely overcome or
avoid it. It is, therefore, something we should try
to understand.
When we turn towards Dharma, we should not
expect it to adjust to us or our desires, for it will
never do that. It is we who must adjust to it. If
this is sometimes hard, it is because of our pride.
We have certain images of ourselves and often feel
no need to change, which is why spiritual friendship
is so important. We need a kalyana mitra—a good
friend—someone who, with our welfare always
in mind, will advise, restrain, cheer, soothe, exhort
and encourage us. A friend of this type will put friendship
before self-interest. He will not remain silent if
he sees us straying into unwholesome ways, though
his disapproval will be kindly and without self-righteousness;
it won’t have the flavor of “I am right
and you are wrong”.
But how to find such a friend? They don’t
come easily, with Kalyana Mitra stamped all over them.
How will we know one if we meet one? There is risk
of being hurt when we go in search of a friend; if
we open ourselves and make ourselves vulnerable, we
may find the wrong kind of friend. Feeling this, and
perhaps having been hurt by ‘friends’
in the past, some people—my eldest sister is
one—lock themselves up and prefer to have no
friends. There are such friends in the world, however,
and the benefits of having one are immense—making
it well worth the risk of opening ourselves.
But are we worthy of such a friend? Do we
deserve one? What kind of friend are we? Are we trustworthy?
Can others depend upon us to do what we say we will
do? Or do we expect more of others than of ourselves?
Is our word our bond? Is it always others who should
keep their word and not us? Can we be honest, and
assess ourselves objectively? Are we the kind of friend
to others that we ourselves would like to have? We
fall far short of our own standards, do we not? Even
so, never mind; it is as it should be, because we
are on a journey and have not reached the end; as
long as this is so, there will always be a space—a
difference—between what we are and what we would
like to be; but if we recognize and understand this,
there is no need to feel so bad about it; we will
not be forever at this stage. Some discomfort and
embarrassment about our shortcomings, however, is
good, as it keeps us awake and moving, instead of
lapsing into lethargy and indolence. It is good to
have standards, but they should not be double standards;
we should apply our own standards to ourselves as
well as to others.
Some time ago, while visiting a small town
in Sarawak, someone told me about an American pastor
who was working there. Apparently, he disagreed with
something in one of my books that someone had given
him, and asked to meet me. I had no objection, and
an appointment was arranged. He came to the place
where I was staying, and our discussion went on for
two hours. Although he was rather naïve in some
ways (aren’t we all?), I found him otherwise
very nice.
He said he had detected some bitterness in
my book and asked me why I was so biased against Christianity.
I told him of my years in the Refugee Camps of S.E.
Asia, and how un-ethical I considered the conduct
of the flocks of Christian missionaries there, all
doing their utmost to convert the Buddhists. I had
no choice but to protest against this, I said, and
if the situation had been reversed and Buddhists were
trying to convert Christians, I would have said the
same thing: “Don’t do that! It’s
wrong! Help where and if you can, but do not use your
help as a lever to pressure others to convert to your
beliefs!”
The pastor’s response to this was revealing.
With disbelief in his voice, he said: “Would
you?” “Yes”, I said firmly, “I
would”. Again, to make sure his ears were not
deceiving him, he asked: “Would you, really?”
and again I gave the same answer.
I will probably never find myself in that
situation, because over its long history, Buddhism
has never spread by such means. And precisely because
of this, I can say that I would oppose any efforts
to convert others to Buddhism by unethical means such
as are used by others. I never tried to convert anyone
to Buddhism during my work in Manila City Jail. Conversion,
as I see it, is not a matter of a change of name,
but a change of heart; I don’t care what people
call themselves, and in fact, would prefer it if they
did not call themselves anything. I know my own mind
in this.
The pastor was surprised when I told him
that Buddhism was also a missionary religion, and
had been from its beginning, over 500 years before
the birth of Jesus. He registered even more surprise
upon hearing that blood has never been shed in the
name of Buddhism, and that there has never been a
Buddhist war. “We are not proud of that”,
I said, “because this is just how it should
be”. Unwilling to let this pass unchallenged,
he said: “But just last year, a foreign tourist
was killed by a Buddhist in Thailand!” “No”,
I said, “she was killed by a Thai, not by a
Buddhist, and though he called himself ‘Buddhist’—as
do most Thais—and even wore a monk’s robe,
it was not a Buddhist action and was not carried out
in the name of Buddhism. There is no way that Buddhism
can be held responsible for that”. (That particular
‘monk’ had a history of mental illness,
and should never have been ordained in the first place;
ordination is just too easy in Thailand; they will
ordain anyone!)
Buddhism was old long before Jesus was born.
Isn’t it time Christians came out of their spiritual
shells and realized that there are other ways in the
world beside theirs? We’re not asking for tolerance;
it’s not enough. What we want is fairness. Would
Christians like it if others tried to convert them
by telling them that their religion is no good, that
Jesus is a demon and anyone praying to him will go
to hell? Of course they wouldn’t! So they should
learn not to do that to others, should learn to follow
the Golden Rule which they shout so much about, and
claim that Jesus taught: “Do unto others as
you would like others to do to you”. Jesus might
have taught it, but he did nor originate it; many
others had said the same thing before him (actually,
Jesus didn’t say much that was original). The
world has had too much of Christian hegemony—century
after long century of it!—and unless and until
Christians renounce and abandon this, there will be
no possibility of religious cooperation. There should
be a demand on the part of followers of other religions
for Christians to publicly disavow this practice and
openly accept and respect other religions. This is
my demand, and I will continue to speak and write
about it.
Buddhism teaches that everyone—no
matter what they call themselves—has Buddha-nature,
or the capacity to become enlightened. It’s
intrinsic—inside us—no-one gives it to
us. And you don’t have to call yourself a Buddhist
to be a Buddhist. What freedom!
“You don’t need a good voice
to be able to sing”. If you have a song in your heart,
sing it!
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