Ripples Following Ripples ~ WHAT DO WE REALLY KNOW?
From
Kathmandu, I flew out to Malaysia, where one of the
first things I did was to have two of my molars extracted;
they’d bothered me too long; I was enlightened
by a few grams as a result. I then set out on another
speaking-tour.
I crossed paths with Bhikkhu Dry again, and saw how
weird his ideas had become. I disagreed with him in
a talk we shared one night when he said that if a
person isn’t enlightened himself, he is not
in a position to help others become enlightened. I
am not of this opinion. It would be like seeing someone
injured and bleeding and saying to him: “I’m
so sorry; I’d like to help you, but I’m
not a doctor”. Every mother ~ and most other
people, for that matter ~ knows how to treat minor
injuries; there is no need to go to a doctor for every
little wound or pain. Likewise, we all have the capacity
~ in varying degrees ~ to help others along the way;
we do not need to be fully-enlightened for that ~
if there is such a thing as full-enlightenment (we
speak as if we know, when really, we don’t).
And, in doing so, we express the enlight-enment we
already have ~ in whatever small amount ~ and thereby
increase it. If we were to hold back and refuse to
help others until we are fully-enlightened, no-one
~ including our-selves ~ would get any help at all!
That would be just as foolish as making it a condition
that someone must be enlightened be-fore we listen
to or learn from him. There was an anomaly in what
he said: Did he consider himself enlightened and therefore
qualified to help others? If not, then why did he
speak like this?
Not long after this, I was told of other strange things
he’d said in Teluk Intan. Speaking
of a recent prolonged water-shortage in Kuala Lumpur,
he claimed it was a punishment by the devas
for it being a ‘sinful city’. Well, having
known him for many years, I recognized it as his style
and wasn’t surprised; the only thing that struck
me as strange about it was the word ‘sinful,’
which I can’t imagine him using, but I could
be wrong; perhaps it was another word, similar in
meaning. I asked one of the folks who’d heard
him say this if he had objected to it, and he said:
“What’s the point?”
“What’s the point?” I echoed.
“The point is that this is blatant superstition,
and he should not be allowed to get away with it!”
There are people ~ many of them kind but naïve
~ who will be-lieve things like this simply because
he’s a monk, but it should not pass unchallenged.
It is hard enough trying to combat exist-ing superstition
without others spreading more!
What an arrogant thing to say! What gave him the right
to set himself up as a judge, as if he perceived all
the causes of some-thing affecting a city of two million
people?! Was he so all-knowing, so all-seeing, as
to explain a water-shortage in this way? No doubt
he could quote from the scriptures about this, too,
but that proves nothing except his gullibility. Has
he seen devas, and does he know what they
think and why? This is pure fundamentalism, in complete
disregard of the explanations of science. The El
Niño Effect is a recently-observed and
under-stood phenomenon that we’ve just become
cognizant of. We do not know if it existed at the
time of the Buddha, but it probably did. There was
no science of meteorology then, and the causes of
weather-patterns were unknown. Maybe people attributed
storms, thunder, lightning, floods, and so on, to
the intervention of gods or devas; some people
obviously still do. I myself prefer the explanations
of science; I don’t want fairy-tales any more.
By the law of averages, there would be some
‘sinful’ people in Kuala Lumpur (every
city has its share), but we cannot be so sweeping
as to condemn a whole city as ‘sinful’;
there are ~ must be ~ many good people in
K.L.; in fact, his family is there; did he
include them in his judgment, whereby he was saying:
“You deserve whatever you get, otherwise you
wouldn’t get it! And, because this water-shortage
is a form of suffering, the causes of it must be such
as to produce such an effect!”? He is a Karmite,
a Professor of Karmology, believing that
whatever happens to us is a result of our karma, whereas
this is definitely NOT SO. There are other
forces at work in our lives besides Karma, which ~
come on, let’s be honest ~ at our level, is
still a concept and not a proven fact.
Please, be very careful with this concept, lest it
do you more harm than good. Be very careful when listening
to monks ex-plaining Dharma. Don’t assume that
they are authorities and simply believe whatever they
say, but listen attentively and use your intelligence
to decide whether what they say is true and useful
to you or not. The Dharma should not leave us high-and-dry,
like whales stranded on the beach.
And at this point, I’ll resume my story of Tran
Cong Nam: He’d lived alone for several years
after his resettlement in California in 1983, until
his wife and remaining daughter joined him from Vietnam.
I was glad, thinking he’d be alright from thereon.
And he was, for a while. Some years later still, his
daughter fell in love and got married. Only a month
later, however, the boy died of a heart-attack. More
suffering for Mr. Nam! We continued to keep in touch,
and about this time, I received a letter from him,
in reply to my last one to him, asking how he was.
He thanked me for my concern, as was his way, then
proceeded to tell me that he had been planning to
return to Vietnam for the first time since he escaped
over 15 years before, to see his aged mother. Before
he could go, however, he got a phone-call, to say
that a drunken, crazed policeman had broken into his
mother’s home one night, stabbed his eldest
sister to death, and badly wounded his mother! He
hastened back for the funeral, and fortunately, his
mother recovered. He returned to the US to continue
his life of suffering, not becoming completely insane,
as many other people would have done.
Back in K.L., Wong linked me with someone wanting
to sell his laptop, and I bought it, this one with
a modem, so for the first time, I was able to connect
to the Internet, and my life was for-ever changed
thereby. A friend named Jimmy Chew created an email-address
for me and tried to show me how to use this fan-tastic
means of communication, but I was slow in learning.
Later, in Malacca, while staying with DV, I had to
ask him every day for quite a while: “Come on,
show me again,” and was almost on the verge
of giving up in despair and staying with snail-mail,
when I got it. Phew, what a relief! I thought of changing
my ad-dress to ‘Cybersaurus’ but it seemed
someone else had already got it. Email soon became
my lifeline, and I was hooked. I had always been an
avid correspondent, and reached the point, at one
time, when I was writing up to 150 letters each month;
after email ~ AE ~ that fell to about 15,
but my email soared to hun-dreds. It is so convenient,
and even when I must resort to using cyber-cafes with
their varying costs and frustrations in getting connected
and so on, it is infinitely better than in before-email
days ~ BE.
Now, I wanted to donate blood again, but was feeling
very tired, especially after eating, when I would
have to sleep again; I was constantly thirsty, and
had to get up in the night to pee, which I’d
never done before. DV ~ who’d maintained his
blood-donations after I’d influenced him in
this over 20 earlier ~ took me to see one of his friends,
a Dr. Wong. He pricked my finger to test my blood,
and it showed my blood-sugar-level was very high;
I had diabetes! Damn, I thought, this is
really going to restrict me! It had probably been
precipitated by drinking lots of sugar-cane-juice
while I was in India, but looking back later, I could
see that I’d had symptoms of it for many years,
but hadn’t recognized them. Back in the early
‘80’s, I started to get attacks of hypogly-cemia;
suddenly, I would feel ravenously hungry and start
to tremble, an awful feeling that someone described
as like be-ing hit by a train, although how they knew
that, I couldn’t imag-ine! If I didn’t
eat something quickly when I got such attacks, I couldn’t
eat and had to sleep. Several times, when I’d
donated blood, the bleeders remarked upon my high
iron-level, unaware that this was an indication of
diabetes; why blood-banks never tested for diabetes
when it’s so easily done, I don’t know,
but they won’t take blood from diabetics, as
I soon found out.
Someone took me to see a Chinese doctor in K.L. ~
a roughly-spoken woman from Shanghai ~ who assured
me she could cure diabetes, and that if she couldn’t,
she would take her sign down. She provided me several
months’ supply of pills.
I visited the Buddhist Society in Teluk Intan again,
for what was to be the last time, and, wanting to
see what people had under-stood from my previous visits,
I asked them to arrange for someone to interview me
before the audience, but not to tell me the questions
beforehand, so that it would be spontaneous in-stead
of prepared and contrived. They agreed to do this,
and when the time came, they had chosen someone who
I had really hoped they would ~ a man who’d
been disrespectful towards me on several occasions,
and who was generally rather arrogant. I expected
him to give me a hard time, but was surprised when,
in front of the audience, he was uncharacteristically
subdued; per-haps he realized what it was like to
be in my position, always in front of others, on trial,
as it were. I forget what kind of questions he asked,
so they couldn’t have been outstanding, but
I used the occasion to confront the audience, and
asked: “If I were not a monk, would you still
invite me here to give talks?”
There was a long and somewhat-strained silence, until
finally, someone said, “Well, … er
… no, not really.”
“Why not?” I said. “If learning
is sufficiently important to you, you won’t
mind who you learn from, but if it is not, you will
pick and choose, saying things like, ‘I like
this speaker, but not that one.’ “
My suspicions were confirmed. I’d been wasting
my time there, and never went again.
I’d been invited to give a talk in the Brickfields
Vihara in K.L.. When I got there, the abbot, Ven.
Dhammananda, asked me why I’d not visited him
when he was in hospital in Sydney for a heart-bypass
several years before ~ “All the other monks
did,” he said. I thought: “Why should
I? I owe you no allegiance.” He sat beside me
on the stage ~ to monitor me, I knew ~ but I said
what I wanted to say even so. Because I was dressed
as I usu-ally dress when I give talks, with the Theravada
robe over my Chinese tunic and pants, I began, “Perhaps
you are wondering what kind of monk I am. Well, I’m
not a Theravada or a Maha-yana monk.” In the
middle of my talk, he interrupted me to say something,
before allowing me to continue. At the end, he com-mented
on my talk: “It was very liberal,” he
said, although I don’t know what he meant by
that, “but I couldn’t find anything wrong
with what he said,” or something to that effect.
It was my intention to make another trip to the US,
but first, I wanted to see my mother in Queensland,
who by this time, was in a nursing-home suffering
from Alzheimer’s. DV bought me a one-way ticket
to Brisbane.
Now, a letter had reached me from someone in Singapore
by the name of Tan Chye Hin, who said he’d
enjoyed reading one of my books so much that he had
collected funds to have it re-printed on his own initiative.
Well, I was flattered, and wrote to say so. We exchanged
letters and phone-calls, and he arranged for me to
stay in a small temple when I went to Singapore not
long after. He met me off the bus, and was a pleasant
young guy, and a vegetarian, too, which is rare among
Buddhists.
One evening, in a vegetarian restaurant downtown,
a man at the next table came over and introduced himself;
thus I met William Yeo. We got talking, and
when he learned that I’d soon be going to Brisbane
but didn’t know where I’d stay when I
got there, he said he had business-interests there
and could help me out by putting me in touch with
one of his agents, which he did. When I flew into
Brisbane, therefore, Ong Kwee Choo met me
off the plane and took me to the Vietnamese temple
~ Chua Phap Quang ~ where she’d arranged
for me to stay until my visit to my mother was over,
but the monk there ~ Thich Nhat Tan ~ was
of the possessive-type, such as I’d come across
in many places, and wasn’t very hospitable.
Such monks didn’t really ‘leave-home’
at all, but merely moved from a small home into a
bigger one, thinking of the temple as their own private
property.
Kwee Choo and her Vietnamese husband, Ha, kindly drove
me up to Nambour to visit my mother, and
left me alone with her for a while. The nursing-home
was ~ well, what can you say about a nursing-home?
We all know they are rubbish-dumps. However, this
one was clean and didn’t smell, like some do,
and the patient-care was good. Mum was quite well,
and pleased to see me; I wish I’d felt the same
way, but how could I, when she was in that condition?
Had I believed in God, my faith would probably have
been severely shaken; how could He/She/It allow people
to become like this? But since I had no such faith
to be shaken, I was able to look at things quite differently,
in terms of cause-and-effect, and recalled the Buddha’s
parting words to Ananda: “Decay is inherent
in all things, Ananda. How could it be that this body
of mine, having been born, should not die?”
She was sharing a room with four other old ladies;
I took her to a place where we had a bit of privacy,
and holding her hand, asked her, “How do you
like it here, mum?” She replied: “Where
am I?” I then asked, “Is there anything
you need here?” and she said, “I just
need my son to stay here with me,” adding “We’ve
got plenty of beds.” I had to laugh, even though
I knew she wasn’t joking; she never had much
of a sense of humor.
Ha and Kwee Choo came back for me, and mum was sad
when we left and wanted me to stay; I assured her
I would come again. I gave a single talk in Phap Quang
temple, but it wasn’t well-received. Among the
people I met there were Le Bang (from Bataan), and
Hoa, and of course, the first thing he looked at were
my teeth, and I was minus several since we last met.
Again, he offered to make me some dentures, and I
accepted; an impression was made and would be ready
for when I swung by that way in a couple of months.
Le Bang invited me to visit his home, and I was astounded!
He had built this huge new house, far beyond his means,
and was driving an old beat-up car that seemed incongruous
beside the house. I wasn’t impressed, as it
was clearly only for show. He had several more children
by this time, and his wife was the main bread-winner,
having a better job than him.
Air-fares were still very high, so I took a bus from
Brisbane to Melbourne, a journey lasting 26 hours.
Tuan met me off the bus and took me to stay in the
big new house he’d bought; he’d done well,
working hard, living frugally himself, and not wasting
money on frivolous things.
During the time I was there, I got a call from a lady
identifying herself as the niece of Tran Cong Nam,
and inviting me for lunch at her home the next Saturday;
she said some of her friends would be there to listen
to my talk. I wasn’t aware he had any relatives
in Australia, but happily accepted the invitation.
On that day, someone came to fetch me, and I found
a very nice lunch awaiting me, laid out artistically.
Later, when everyone had eaten, I was asked to speak,
and wove in the story of Mr. Nam, but without using
his name, so that only his niece knew who I was referring
to. Afterwards, she came to me and quietly told me
that I’d got the story wrong, and it wasn’t
as I’d said. When he escaped from Vietnam, with
his whole family, two of his children didn’t
drown as I had been told. What happened was, their
crowded boat had been fired upon by a communist gun-boat,
and his son’s brains were blown out; his daughter’s
stomach was torn open by shrapnel, and she died in
his arms, crying, “Help me, Pa-pa! Help me!”
I was stunned! Why should someone like him ~ so quiet,
humble and self-effacing ~ suffer so much? What could
he possibly have done that would cause such pain?
To casually ascribe it to karma ~ as if we perceive
all the causes ~ innumerable causes, such as bring
about any effect ~ would be horribly callous and unthinking.
The fact is, we don’t know,
and the sooner we can bring ourselves to honestly
admit this, the better! The karma-idea is a two-edged
sword, and without wisdom, we get hold of it to our
own detriment! It might be useful to apply it to ourselves
~ and ourselves alone ~ especially when facing difficulties,
to say: “I don’t know why this is happening,
and I certainly don’t like it or want it. But
because I can see there are no accidents ~ things
that happen by themselves ~ but that everything comes
from causes, maybe it is the result of something I
did long ago, even if I don’t remember it. Therefore,
I’ll accept it now, and see what I can do with
it, and where I can go from here.” But we must
be very careful not to point our fingers at others
in judgment and say, “This must be a result
of his past karma, otherwise it wouldn’t be
happening to him.” We must be very careful indeed!
I was keen to begin my trip in the US, so didn’t
stay long in Mel-bourne. I’d already contacted
Thong Hai in Hawaii, and he’d sent me a letter
of guarantee regarding my stay in his temple. Unaware
of entry-requirements, I bought only a one-way ticket,
from Brisbane to Honolulu, expecting to get my onward
ticket there. I wouldn’t need a visa, as I’d
ascertained that I would get a 3-months’ stamp
upon entry, known as a ‘waived visa.’
Then, before I could get a bus to Sydney, Trung came
by and offered to drive me; I accepted, and we set
off, but being in no great hurry, when we got near
Canberra, I decided to stop-by the temple and stay
overnight. I called Thich Quang Ba to say we were
coming, and he gave us rooms when we arrived. The
next day, he drove us around Canberra, which, because
it’s the federal capital, is well laid-out but
surprisingly small; you’re in the center before
you know it. We visited several places, includ-ing
the National War-Museum, where I found the displays
about Gallipoli of especial interest. Then, after
lunch, we left for Sydney, where Baker Vo was waiting
for us. He was so impressed with Trung that he offered
him a job in one of his bakeries, but he wouldn’t
accept, and after a few days there, returned to Mel-bourne.
I went on to Brisbane by bus, to be met by Hoa and
taken to his home; I had asked him if I could stay
with him until I flew out, as I didn’t want
to stay in the temple again. His son gave up his room
for me. My dentures were ready and this time, they
were a good fit.
Ha and Kwee Choo drove me out to visit my mother again,
and this time, we took her out for a while, to Sheila’s
home, where Anita and her kids were living; Sheila
and Frank had not yet moved up from Adelaide. I was
not aware at that time of Anita’s feelings towards
mum, otherwise I would not have taken her. Back at
the nursing-home, mum was most reluctant to get out
of the car, but clung on; it took us a while to persuade
her.
Now, while I was in Melbourne, someone told me that
Thuy and her sons, Tuan and Huy ~ who I’d met
in Galang Camp in ’86, and again in Melbourne
~ had moved to Brisbane to operate a fish-and-chips
shop, and so I got Ha to take me to visit them. I
was happy to find them doing well, in a good location
near the beach. Tuan was married, but had no children
yet.
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