Ripples Following Ripples ~ ARRIVAL
IN ADELAIDE
That
was my shortest-ever trip out of Oz. I was still stuffed-up
with cold, and it took a few days to clear up, not
helped by Van’s habit of keeping the front and
back doors wide open, so the wind whistled through
quite strongly, and the daytime temperature was around
15 degrees at that time; even the kids were shivering!
It was a bit uncomfortable staying there for another
reason: Van was surly and taciturn (symptoms, I felt,
of deep unhappiness), and some days I got barely a
dozen words from her! She’d been like that for
a long time. She spent hours talking on the phone,
however, in a tone that sounded like she was complaining.
My teeth in need of more attention, I went to see
Jamie again. He was always pleasant as he went about
his work.
Enough was enough and after two weeks in Melbourne,
I took wing to Adelaide, only to discover that the
Vietnamese people who picked me up at the airport
had misunderstood me over the phone and had not arranged
accommodation for me, thinking that I would stay with
Wilanie and her family; she had a house full
of visiting relatives, however, so that wasn’t
an option. In the end, after some hasty phone-calls,
which turned up nothing positive, I had to be put
to stay in a motel.
The next morning, according to an agreement made while
I was in Melbourne, I went over to a Sri Lankan temple,
where, contrary to my apprehensions, I was well-received.
I say 'contrary to my apprehensions' because the way
I dress identifies me more with Chinese and Vietnamese
Buddhism, whereas the Buddhism of Sri Lanka is of
the Theravada kind, and sectarianism among Bud-dhists
is often as strong and virulent as among followers
of other religions, although it has never led to violence.
Moreover, the resident monk, Sumedha, was surprisingly
friendly, and it was not long before he took me aside
and invited me to stay there long-term. Not only that,
but late at night, after everyone had gone home, he
asked if I’d like to eat something, and of course,
I did, as I was very hungry by then, long after lunch.
This was unex-pected, moreso as he also ate something
himself.
I didn’t stay there longer than a few days before
moving to stay with an Aussie couple I’d been
introduced to, Rick and Pat; they were fantastic,
and I had so much to talk about with them; Rick had
been thrown from a horse at the age of 25 when he
was working as a stockman at the abattoirs and became
an invalid as a result, confined to a wheelchair;
that was 17 years before. He had triumphed over his
adversity in many ways, discovering that he had an
ability to paint, and became a successful artist;
his paintings selling for thousands. He was a most
positive person and enjoyed life tremendously. Pat
was also a lovely person and the care that she necessarily
lavished on him was heart-warming to see. I didn't
know them, or anything about them, before I met them;
they opened their home to me and made me feel very
wel-come, but I was careful not to overstay.
Someone tried to arrange a talk at another temple
for me, but I came up against someone there, who called
to get some information about me. I gave him what
I gave at other places, and which had always been
accepted as adequate. After I'd gone to bed that night,
he called again to ask for more. I returned his call
the next day and told him I wasn’t prepared
to give more information as it was not ~ or shouldn’t
be ~ important. He said, "But it is our policy
to ask such things of visiting monks in order to make
announcements about their talks." I said, "I'm
sure you're not going to print out all that information,"
and told him I'd decided to cancel the talk. He accepted
this without apology and didn't try to dissuade me,
which made me think they were not really keen on having
me there anyway. I later wrote to him, but decided
not to send it; here is my letter:
Mr. ______
this is not meant to be a ‘nice’
letter, but I feel I must write a few words
to correct some obvious misunderstandings.
First of all, I did not ask to give a Dharma-talk
at the Chinese Temple; do I need to come there?
It was arranged by Lan Thi Ngo (her Vietnamese
name, though you probably know her as Nga),
who has known me since 1986. Moreover, I gave
talks your temple years ago when it was functioning
in someone’s garage; no doubt there are
other people at the temple who know me. And
there are now people who know about what has
just happened.
To be so insistent on asking for personal information
from me is actually very rude on your part,
especially as you had no way of knowing or ascertaining
if what I told you were true or not. The Sri
Lankan Buddhists here, to whom I’ve given
three talks over the past week, didn’t
ask silly things like that, and seemed happy
with what I said and requested more. I generally
give only the minimum information about myself,
as I regard that as unimportant. Do you know
the name of your mailman? Probably not, because
it’s not important; what is important
is that he delivers the mail; and I am like
that; my job is to deliver the Dharma. But I
wonder if you know what that is? How much do
you know or understand about the Buddha’s
Teachings? Did you not say to me, as we closed
our phone-conversation on Saturday: “May
God Bless You”? That is a very strange
thing for a Buddhist to say; perhaps you think
the Buddha is a God, or maybe you are really
a Christian. In any case, an uninformed Buddhist
should not hold a position of authority in a
temple; it is like a chicken pretending to be
an eagle.
Maybe you are familiar with Bright Moon Temple
in Melbourne, which I believe has some affiliations
with your temple. Well, I spent some time there
years ago, and saw how it had fallen into the
wrong hands, so that the emphasis was on making
money and Dharma-propagation was almost non-existent.
Better not to have a temple if it’s going
to be misused. Unfortunately, it has been my
experience over the past 30 years to come across
so many temples like that.
You know, there are probably some people ~
even if only a few ~ who might have learned
something had I given a talk there, but they
were prevented by you, and you must accept responsibility
for that; many Buddhists would say that is really
bad karma; I would say it’s just ignorance
and bad-manners.
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After five days with Rick and Pat, I went to stay
with Wilanie, not far away. To augment her meager
income, and having spare rooms, she took student-boarders.
She cared for me very well during the week I was there,
and assured me that she benefited a lot, too.
Some other arrangements fell through, but were compensated
for by the success of all the talks ~ 9 or 10 ~ I
gave in Adelaide, to various groups. While there,
I got an idea of making a collage of pictures from
magazines on a large sheet of card, of people ~ or
even animals ~ who we might have been in previous
lives. We do not know, of course, about our previous
lives (if any), but most Buddhists, if not all, accept
the concept of many lives, so it would be a matter
of using one’s imagination. When I came to do
it, however, I soon found out that it would take a
long time to do properly, so I delayed, and never
got around to doing it. The pur-pose of it was to
serve as a kind of meditation-object, to help us identify
with people of various races and of different times,
male and female, young and old, beautiful and not
so. It could be a way of helping people expand their
horizons beyond their condi-tioning, because of course,
we all see things according to that, and this is how
racism arises, whereas if we would consider the possibility
of having been members of various races and nation-alities
before, and of becoming so again, racism would definitely
diminish. Right now, we are either physically this
or that, but how we became so, we really don't know;
I mean, I didn't choose to be born in England any
more than anyone else chose to be born where they
were; this happened beyond our control, but we could
try to expand our minds and learn what it means to
be members of the human race. I've never heard of
anyone conducting such an experiment before.
I met a number of people with whom I lost contact
years ago, and made some new friends, like the couple
mentioned above. An op-tometrist-friend named Tony,
who I’d met through Wilanie years before, tested
my eyes for signs of diabetic damage, and was pleased
to note that there was none, and very little change
in my eyesight since I was last tested.
Then, someone who had attended one of my talks at
Wilanie’s came forward and offered to support
me, so that I could settle down to writing my memoirs,
which I’d been meaning to do for some years.
His initial enthusiasm didn’t last long, however,
and he made the excuse of wanting to go into seclusion
and devote himself to the practice of mindfulness
with the aim of becoming enlightened, to cut contact
with me. I don’t know what became of him, but
I was a bit concerned that he would go off the tracks
with his meditation and become crazy.
Another person I met at this time, and was to become
quite close to was an Aussie woman named Georgina.
Knowing that I was on my way to Brisbane, she asked
for my email-address, saying she’d also be going
there soon. It wasn’t long before we started
to correspond regularly. It had been my intention,
when I first went to Adelaide, you see, to go to Sydney
afterwards, and from there, maybe to New Zealand again
for a while before going to Queensland, but after
a week, I decided to abandon that idea, and go direct
to Queensland instead, and get down to work on writing
my memoirs; indeed, as mentioned earlier, I intended
to make my base there. Consequently, I bought a ticket
over the Internet to Brisbane. Huy met me at the airport
and drove me to Nambour, where Sheila and Frank were
expecting us.
Soon after I got there, Sheila and Frank left for
a 3 weeks’ vaca-tion in Spain, Portugal and
Morocco. As I was seeing them off, I suggested to
Anita that she write her email-address for them, as
they would probably meet someone of their trip who
could help them with email, as they don't know how,
but she said, "There's no possibility of that!"
and Frank signaled to me to leave it that; he knew
better than to pursue the matter with her.
I was left to take care of myself in the upper portion
of the house, and Anita was in her quarters downstairs
with two of her three children, who were as taciturn
and uncommunicative as she. In spite of what she’d
written to me in Malaysia, saying that I had a home
there if I wanted, it soon became clear that she considered
me an intruder, and knowing that I was dependent upon
her for transport to visit my mother in her nursing-home,
she offered to take me only twice in the three weeks
her parents were away. Well, I’d known for a
long time that she hated my mother (her grandmother),
and never went to visit her herself, but that was
no reason why she couldn’t have dropped me off
to see her, as she went out to gym every morning.
She never as much as invited me down for a cup of
tea with her!
I didn’t get very far with my memoirs in Nambour;
the inspiration just didn’t flow. There was
no hurry, however, as it was mainly for my own edification;
it’s a good thing I don’t write for a
living, or I’d very soon starve.
Anyway, S & F returned, not having enjoyed their
trip, but I wasn’t surprised about that, as
Sheila is not at all adventurous where food is concerned,
and won’t try anything different; she had gone
with the expectation of not enjoying it, so it was
sort of a foregone conclusion; it was really a complete
waste of money. I waited for an opportune moment to
inform them of the situation, and said that rather
than disturb the balance there (they were so afraid
of upsetting their ‘lovely’ daughter in
case she moved out), I would leave; I could not live
with such negative feelings, and talking to Anita
in a reasonable way wasn’t possible, as she’s
a cynical, cold and hard person, and I could well-understand
why her hus-band had left her nine years before; I’d
not heard his side of the story, but he undoubtedly
had one.
After repacking the stuff I’d sent up from Melbourne,
I parted ami-cably with Sheila and Frank. Huy had
driven up from Brisbane for me. We went to visit my
mother, and she asked me why I was leaving so soon,
making me wonder how much or little she really did
understand. It was sad to see her, not knowing if
I’d ever see her again; she’d lost a lot
of weight, and her hands were like birds’ claws
~ skin and bones and worm-like veins.
On the back into Brisbane, I asked Huy if we could
stop by to visit Mrs. Babidge, who was expecting us
as I'd called to say we were coming; she was delighted
to see us again, and at 94, her mind and memory were
still very sharp and clear; we stayed over an hour
with her, listening to her stories, and when we left,
she in-sisted on giving me some biscuits and candies
and money in an envelope; I couldn’t refuse,
as giving me these things meant so much to her, and
to me. I wrote to her now and then after this, as
she liked to hear from me, and it is a small thing
to do to make someone happy. However, it wasn’t
long before her failing sight precluded her replies
to me.
My teeth in need of treatment yet again, I visited
a dentist some-one had introduced me to; being Vietnamese
and Buddhist, he treated me without charge, filling
three teeth and thereby relieving me of the ache thereof.
By this time, I’d decided to go to England again,
and so, after some talks in Brisbane, I returned to
Adelaide, to spend two weeks more in the Sri Lankan
temple. During this time, Georgina, who had also returned
from Brisbane, invited me for dinner, and came to
collect me. She was living in a lovely place in the
hills with her husband, Rob and one of their sons,
David. We spent a pleasant evening together.
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